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  Copyright

  It Begins with Goodbye

  Copyright © 2019 R.S. James

  Edited: Nikki Reeves of Southern Sweetheart Author and Book Services

  Cover Design: Tracie Douglas of Dark Water Covers

  Photographer: Dawn Chance of Zenyx Photography

  Models: Julie E Mick Schalm

  Formatting: Jaime Russell

  Chapter Header Designs: Torrie Robles

  All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite eBook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.

  Acknowledgements

  First, I want to thank God. Second, I want to thank my husband and both my kids I love you most best always forever times infinity and beyond. I want to thank Jaime Russell and Avelyn Paige for your unwavering support. I love you both.

  R.S. James begins with readers, southern sweethearts editing and Tracie Douglas at Dark Water Covers and the wonderful and beautiful Julie Mick Schalm for honoring me with your photo on my cover. Thank you to one of my favorite authors Chelle Bliss for allowing me to use the copyrighted name of her Men of Inked shirt.

  Claire

  Can this day get any worse?

  Today is supposed to be my first day off, after working the last sixty days straight, but now, I’ve been called into cover a shift at a hospital in the next county. One of their emergency room nurses has been in a car accident, sending her into labor three weeks early. Today, also happens to be my fifteenth wedding anniversary.

  We live in Reading, Michigan, and the main reason I’ve been working so much is, so I can afford to buy Colton the Alaska hunting trip he has always wanted. Our children, Carly and Carson, are staying with friends tonight. I’ve been trying to call Colton, ever since I found out that I’m needed here tonight, but he isn’t answering. I left a message, and I hope he’s not too pissed.

  When I pull up, the place is packed. All the bays are full, and the waiting room is wall to wall with people. This is going to be fun! Yep, another twelve-hour shift, here I come. Walking through the doors of the locker room, I type out a text to the kids, letting them know the change in plans, where I am, and what time I get off tomorrow. All the while, I can’t get my mind off of not being able to get a hold of my husband. I have a strange feeling something has been going on lately because Colton has been so moody and withdrawn. I try pushing it from my mind, so I can get some work done.

  Standing behind the counter typing up a chart, I hear a familiar voice talking. Wait, what’s going on? Are the kids, okay? Did Colton come to surprise me? My questions are answered, when I see him walking towards the bay area. He is holding a woman’s hand, like he held mine in the beginning, but hasn’t since the kids. In that moment, I know I’ve been right all along. He hasn’t been faithful to me, and I’m beyond hurt and furious. I have never felt such hate in my life. Not only for my so-called “husband,” but also for my twin sister, the woman he’s with. What the actual fuck?

  I stay behind the counter, until the doctor comes back, telling me which labs he wants to be ordered for the patient in bay four. It also happens to be exactly where my husband is currently holding my sister. I get all my supplies and head in there. I hear a gasp, so I look up. “Oh, hey. What’s going on, guys?”

  “What are you doing here? I thought you had the weekend off,” Colton asks, sounding pissed off.

  “Well, if you had listened to your voicemail, then you would know what’s going on.” They just watch me not knowing what’s going to happen, and honestly, neither do I. However, I have two kids that need me, so I’m going to do my job right now.

  “So, the doctor has ordered some lab work, as well as a urine sample. I’m going to put an IV in to get you some fluids, and a phlebotomist will be in to draw some blood to take to the lab downstairs. We’ll be back with the results, as soon as they come in. Okay?”

  Again, there’s no response, so I get my gloves on. “I’m sorry, sir. I’m going to need you to let go of your wife’s arm, so I can get in there and get the IV started for the doctor.” He finally lets her arm go. “Isn’t there another nurse that can do this?” Colton whispers.

  “I’m sorry if I have made you angry sir, but the doctor needs these to help make a proper diagnosis. I’ll only be a second, and then you can be with your wife again.”

  “Cut the shit, Claire. You know she’s not my wife.”

  “Well yes, Colton, I do know that. I also know that today is our fifteenth wedding anniversary, and I got called into a different hospital to cover for another nurse. When I got here, I see my husband walking in, holding my twin sister, as if she is his wife. Right this second, I can’t be the hurt wife or sister. I need to be a professional and get this IV started. So please, let’s make this as painless as possible for everyone, okay?”

  “Well Claire, it does look bad, since we’ve been sleeping together for the past eighteen months,” Clarissa responds snotty. I nod my head, understanding all the looks and whispers lately between them. Once again, I have been played for a fool. Well, that’s fine, but I’m done. No more pathetic Claire. I wish I could say this is the first time he’s cheated, but sadly, it’s not. I wish I could say I was strong enough to leave him the first time, but again, that’s not the case.

  They both just look at each other, as I walk out to the doctor, asking him to come into the room with me for a minute. We walk back in, and I tell him the story, and he watches, as I take the blood. “I have no problem treating her, nor do I have a problem being professional. I merely brought you in for their comfort.”

  Colton looks down, “Well, it does kind of look bad. Don’t you agree?”

  “Colton, what I think right now has no reflection on how I treat patients, or how I do my job. And no, it doesn’t just look bad. It looks like a disaster, but I’m sure you know what and who you want, so that’s all that matters.” Turning, I face the doctor, “Doctor Anderson, the blood has been drawn and sent to the lab. She is hooked up to the monitors, an IV has been put in, and her vitals are stable. As soon as I get the results, I’ll let you know.”

  With a nod, I’m out the door, as if the hounds of hell are at my feet. I make it down the hall to the lady’s room, and then hurry inside, as I turn the lock on the door. Leaning against it, I start to question everything. Am I hurt? Fuck yeah, but not as much as I thought I would be. Am I going to let them know that they have destroyed my self-esteem and self-respect? No! I’m going to go out there and be the best nurse I can be to not only them, but to all my patients. I’m also going to pretend that my world isn’t crashing in around me.

  I walk to the sink, splashing cold water on my face. It’s a good thing I don’t wear makeup because I would scare everyone, after just washing it off. My phone vibrates, and I look at it, seeing a message from Carly.

  Carly: I love you, Mom. Have a good night and stay safe. Michelle and I are back and in for the night.
See you tomorrow!

  One from Carson comes in next.

  Carson: I love you, Mom. Have a great night, and I hope it’s slow. Maybe you and Dad can go out tomorrow night. Carly and I will be fine. See you tomorrow.”

  Man, I have the best kids ever. I send them a quick text, saying I love them and will see them tomorrow as well. No need to let them know that their dad and aunt may be having a baby together, and I’m getting a divorce. I remember what my symptoms were, when I was pregnant, and I also know this isn't her first time being pregnant. She hasn't been able to carry a baby full term yet.

  My pager goes off, letting me know the lab work is done and waiting for me. Well, it’s time to face the music. This might get interesting. Leaving the restroom, I make my way to the counter, as the doctor asks again, if I can handle this. Nodding my head, he looks at me with questions all over his face. With a sigh, I begin to explain what is occurring. “I can remove you and put someone else on the case, if you would like.” He says with sympathy.

  “I have been nothing but professional thus far, so I will continue to be. However, when my shift is over, and I get home, that will be a totally different story.” I smile at him, while my eyes are burning, trying to hold the tears back.

  I stare at the chart in Doctor Anderson’s hand, which has my sister’s name on it. He slides me the file, which I appreciate, because I don’t want to hear the news with them. I open the folder with shaking hands, and then I hurry up and close it. Taking a few small breaths, I say, “Let’s do this.”

  Walking to the door, I knock, as Colton says, “Come on in.” When he sees me, he starts speaking right away, “Well, does she have food poisoning, like I said?”

  I smile, “I can’t you give the results. The doctor has, too.” My voice shakes. “I have another patient to check on, so I’ll be back.” Walking out of the cubical, I stand next to the door and listen.

  The doctor begins to speak, “Well, looks like you’re pregnant, and I brought the portable ultrasound machine, so I can give you an estimated due date. Let’s see, if we can find your little bundle of joy. Now, you’re going to need to follow up with your OBGYN and set up your regular appointments.” Not long after, the swooshing sound begins. “What the hell is that?” My sister asks, sounding a bit panicky.

  “Just relax. That is your baby’s heartbeat, and it looks like you are about 8 weeks, making your due date somewhere around May 21st. I will get you a prescription for prenatal vitamins and folic acid, but just remember to call and follow up with the doctor. I can also give you a list with phone numbers, if you would like?”

  “No, we can handle this. We will use the same one Claire used with the kids, right babe?”

  “Okay, I’ll have Claire bring your discharge paperwork in, as soon as it’s done.”

  Walking back in the room, I have my mask in place. I cannot believe I shared a womb with this bitch. Everyone’s eyes are solely on me, as Colton speaks up first “Claire I never…” He looks to Clarissa, before speaking again, “We never meant for this to happen. It was only supposed to be once.” He quickly looks away, so I instantly know he’s lying.

  “Yeah, once a day, unless we could find time for it more often.” Clarissa snottily replies.

  I hand the paperwork to Colton, and as I’m doing so, he asks, “What time do you get off? I’d like a chance to explain things to you. I didn’t want you to find out this way.” I’m standing here looking at the two people, who are supposed to love me, and they are the same ones that have destroyed that love. Now, they want to explain? Fuck that shit.

  I can’t hold it in anymore. “Oh? Were you going to explain over dinner tonight for our fifteenth wedding anniversary, or just hope the stupid little wife never finds out, so you can have your cake and eat it, too? Well, I’m so sorry I’ve ruined your fairy tale.”

  Turning to walk away, he grabs my arm just as the doctor calls me, letting me know we have an ambulance coming in. “This isn’t done, and we will be talking.” He says, gritting his teeth.

  “Go to hell,” I say, walking away. I’m actually able to finish my shift without any sign that my world just changed. I’m proud of myself for holding my head up high all night.

  Standing in the staff lounge, I hear the door open behind me. “Wow, I’m impressed with your behavior! I don’t know many women would’ve been that calm during that, and then, you went to the trauma, like you hadn’t just had your heart ripped out. I hope to see you over here more often.” Doctor Anderson says, putting his hand on my shoulder.

  I smile, giving him my thanks, when in my head, I’m screaming, “Thank you so much for enjoying my world crashing around me, and I’m so glad that I could help you out with the entertaining portion of this evening. God! Are all men total assholes, or do I have a beam that attracts them?” I feel bad because I know Dr. Anderson isn’t trying to be an asshole. It's just me tonight.

  As I make my way to my car, I see Colton standing there. “Man, can’t I catch a freaking break? I was hoping I wouldn’t have to deal with him, until I got some sleep. No such luck.” I mutter to myself.

  “So, how mad are you?”

  “Excuse me?” I look at him, like he has just sprouted two heads.

  “Okay, I know it’s bad, but it’s not totally our fault.”

  “Oh yes, that’s right cause your dick just accidentally got hard, and then landed in her vagina. You're so right. It’s totally not your fault at all.” I pause for a minute, taking in a deep breath. “Look Colton, I’m tired, and I just want to go home, get in my bed, and sleep. Can we maybe schedule this for some time tomorrow, or maybe I’ll just file for divorce, and we can just be done.” He opens his mouth, like he’s about to say something, but I stop him. “No, don’t say anything, because there is no coming back from this. I forgave you both times that I had proof you were cheating, but not this time. I’m so done!”

  I walk past him, and then get in my car, starting it up. I roll my window down, testing to see if he will play into this. “Hey, can I see your keys?” The idiot actually hands them to me, and I take my car key and the house key off, and then put his truck key from my keychain onto his. Handing them back to him, I smile, “Good luck in life, asshole.” With a wave, I’m off and headed home.

  I rock out to Three Days Grace and Seether on my way. I love music. You can always tell my moods by the music I listen to. Yup, I’m pissed off, so the harder and louder the better. I get home at two forty-five in the morning. Well, it’s Saturday morning now, so I’ll have to wait to call the lawyer, until Monday morning. What the hell, I’ll just call now and leave a message. Maybe he will stop by the office or something. After leaving a message and taking a shower, the day is catching up with me, and I barely make it to bed, before I’m sound asleep.

  ******

  I wake around four hours later with my phone ringing, and I answer with a groggy, “Hello.”

  “Yes, I’m looking for a Claire Mercier?”

  “Yes, this is she. How can I help you?”

  “Good morning, Mrs. Mercier. This is Morgan Bliss, the divorce attorney, you called earlier this morning. I’m just returning your phone call.”

  “Oh, yes. Sorry, I wasn’t expecting to get a call back, until at least Monday. I found out last night that my husband has been cheating on me with my twin sister, and they are having a baby together, so I’d like for this to be over, as quick as possible.”

  “Wow, it sounds like you have had a rough night. Can you meet at our offices today around eight-thirty to go over some things?”

  “Umm, I’m sorry. I’m a nurse, and I worked the night shift. I was actually asleep, when you called. I’ll need more than an hour. Can we make it for nine-thirty?”

  Why in the hell is an attorney, meeting clients on a Saturday morning, and not charging an obscene amount of money to do that?

  “Yes, ma’am. See you then.”

  When I hear the click, I jump out of bed and run
to the shower, taking the fastest one ever. Getting out and drying off, I apply lotion, and then head to my bedroom, grabbing panties, a bra, a pair of blue jeans, and my Men of Inked t-shirt. I go in the bathroom, noticing I look a little worn down, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. So, I put a little concealer on, brush my hair and teeth, spray myself with body spray, and head to the lawyer’s office. As I’m backing out of my driveway, my phone rings. Fantastic, it’s my mom. I sync the call, and then answer, “Hey Mom. What’s up this morning?”

  “Claire, what on earth is going on? Clarissa and Colton just told me, and then they posted on social media, that they are pregnant and in a relationship. Are you okay? You’re not going to do something stupid, are you?”

  “I haven’t even told the kids, and they are blabbing it all over social media?” I shriek, knowing my kids are going to see it. “What do you mean, am I going to do something stupid? I’m going to see the lawyer and get a divorce. They can have each other. So no, I’m not doing anything stupid.”

  “Well, I can’t say that I blame you. I’ve told you from the beginning that you deserved so much better than him. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I understand why you took him back the first time, but after that, I was confused.”

  “Mom, I just wanted the fairy tale, but now, I see he is not that. I just need to be the strong parent for my kids. I don’t want Carly to think this kind of behavior is okay, because it’s not. I also don’t want Carson to think of women as objects that you can use as you want. I want him to respect women. And Mom, I’m so tired of pretending that I’m happy, or that we have a good marriage. I just want to be happy. I’m sad that, after fifteen years, it’s over. However, I don’t regret what we had, because it gave me my babies, and it has taught me what I will and will not accept in future relationships. I need you to understand I will not be attending any family functions, if Clarissa is there. As far as I’m concerned, she is dead to me.”